The ‘firsts’ are often the hardest moments in early sobriety, and as we enter the holiday season, a lot of scary firsts are on the horizon. If your idea of your first sober Thanksgiving or Christmas feels overwhelming, keep reading!
Today I’m sharing five big tips that will help you navigate your first sober holiday season.
Remember, I’m cheering you on! You deserve a chance to see what a sober season can feel like.
You’ve got this!
I want you to go into these tips with curiosity but without judgment of yourself. We’re going to handle ourselves with a lot of grace and understanding. The reasons are endless, but let’s start with my top 5 tips to enjoy a sober Holiday…
Allow Yourself The Chance To Be Sober
You are going to decide right now that you are going to allow yourself the chance to see what a sober holiday can feel like. We can decide that we are not going to drink this holiday, no matter what. We’re not going to drink even if we are offered a drink. We’re not going to drink even if we feel social anxiety. We’re not going to drink even if we’re the only ones not drinking. It’s okay if you’re sweating right now, reading this. You’re allowed to sweat. There is such freedom in deciding. You have decided already.
Preparation Is Key
Next, we are going to prepare. Figure out what you’re going to say if someone asks us if we’re going to drink. We can write it down and we can practice in the mirror. We’re going to practice saying, “Oh that’s okay, do you have any sparkling water?” “That’s okay, thanks, I brought my own mocktail”. “That’s okay, thanks, I’m not drinking tonight.” Say whatever feels good to say. There is no right or wrong way to say this. We’re going in knowing what we are going to drink. Just because you’re not drinking alcohol doesn’t mean you’re not drinking anything. Right? Like that’s bananas… If you’re hosting, have a mocktail option available. If you’re going somewhere, you’re going to bring it with you. If you’re comfortable with the host, you can let her know what you’d like to drink. There are so many great sparkling waters now, you have a lot of options.
Leave Room For Surprise
Leave room for surprise. We’re not going to overthink what people are going to do or say. A lot of times we get caught up in the spirals of hypotheticals. Most of the time in our brain, we’re going to assume the worst. If someone does grill you about it, it’s not going to last that long and you can stand it. Anybody’s response to you not drinking is 100% about them. We overwhelm ourselves and expect this confrontation. A lot of times we’re met with “oh, oh yeah, I’ve been wanting to quit too”. Then the worry settles down and you realize there was nothing to stress about. Whatever you run into, you will be able to handle it and feel it. Just trust yourself.
Get Curious
Notice and get curious. Notice things you might have missed. Maybe you’re more connected with your children, you’re able to recognize small moments. Act as a camera that is capturing all these things and you’re really able to take them in. You’ll be able to see in real time alcohol for what it is and how it takes those moments away from you. Take this as a time to really get curious and to notice the beautiful moments around you.
Call It A Night
Call it a night. When you’re tired, you get to go home to sleep. Make it part of your plan. You get to drive yourself home. Then, congratulate yourself for this accomplishment by being able to climb into your bed and have a great nice sleep. The you get to wake up tomorrow morning and feel amazing. Only you know when you’re ready to go; no one can tell you. The best thing about sobriety is knowing what you need.
Where to Find Support Online
Finding a supportive community is key, especially in early sobriety. I created The Sober Mom Life Cafe to provide women a place to openly examine their relationships with alcohol without judgment and shame. We have Zoom Peer Support meetings every day of the week, along with a monthly Quit Lit book club and an exclusive feed and chat, which is like Facebook, but even better.
Don’t miss my podcast, The Sober Mom Life! We have new episodes every Monday and Friday. You can find it wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.
